[Indies Unlimited is brought to you in part by the fine folks at Hobo Valley Properties, formerly Toxic Waste Disposal Enterprises.]
Times are hard and money is tight. That’s no reason to forgo a precious and well-earned vacation in the heartland of America’s beautiful wilderness. Situated ideally between the serenity of an Air Force missile testing range and the aromatic wonders of a local hog rendering plant, Hobo Valley has cabins for rent that meet every price range.
Hobo Valley Resort and Spa is a perfect writer’s getaway. With no phones or cellular signals, and very little gunfire coming from the nearby survivalist camp after 10 PM, you’ll find all the peace and quiet you need to complete your masterpiece. They are even offering a special Writer’s Retreat package especially for Indies Unlimited readers! This includes a deluxe room with its own private outhouse, a hotplate, styrofoam ice chest (ice not included), and a complimentary welcome basket containing box of local wine and an assortment of fruits and goodies from this area. You can’t get a deal like this anywhere else! Call today for prices and availability and get to work on your next blockbuster hit!
Fine print: yes, the apostrophe is before the 's' in Writer's Retreat on purpose since we can only take one writer at a time. Rates are per person, single occupancy. We reserve the right to reject any guest upon arrival. A guest damage deposit is required and will be refunded upon departure if you leave the room in better condition than you found it. There is a broom and vacuum cleaner in the closet, just sayin'. Please do not remove the fly strips in the outhouse even if they hit you in the forehead. Not responsible for bedbugs, fleas, or other infestations guests might experience in the room. Enjoy your stay!
I’m constantly looking at book covers as part of my “job” here at Indies Unlimited. On top of that, I run into authors posting their covers in groups all the time, asking for input. So I see a LOT of covers. And most of them all have the same issues.
What I find most ironic is that the same people keep posting book covers with the same problems. I don’t get that. Please allow me to make something perfectly clear. And I’m not just making this up to be difficult or bossy or right. I’m speaking from experience. I used to provide my own cover art to my small Indie publisher – and because of that, I’ve taken some lumps. But I’ve also learned some important things about book covers. I share this knowledge freely, to help my fellow Indie authors. Book covers are important. We all want to make a good first impression. Book sales count on it. Continue reading “Top Five Ways to Have an Awful Book Cover”
Yeah, that’s right. I’m an author. That means I’m cerebral. I work out with my brain, not my body, which means that my Nordic Track machine is used to hang laundry. It works quite nicely in that capacity. And now, to make matters worse, here in the Northern Hemisphere, anyway, it’s the height of Winter and that means even less moving about outside. All you folks south of the Equator – it’s too hot for you to be out and about too, right? And heap our New Year’s Resolutions on top of all this guilt – what can we do to stay in shape?
Our Laurie Boris tried to get us to start some good habits like stretching and some strange, new-fangled ergonomic stuff. All that’s fine and dandy, but I can’t really see someone like me actually making the effort to do any of it. So, in the true spirit of entrepreneurial opportunism, I’ve developed an exercise program tailored specifically for authors (and anyone who spends extended hours at a computer). Because what good is a program you won’t actually use?
That’s right, I’ve taken activities in which you participate every day and turned them into exercises! How can you go wrong? Well, duh, you can’t. Continue reading “Easy Physical Fitness for Authors”
Wallowing in obscurity can be frustrating. Well, not so much the obscurity part, but the poverty part that goes with it. I don’t have a big enough following to get Kindle Scout’s attention like Martin Crosbie did. I don’t have the energy or the time to put out a zillion books a year like Lynne Cantwell or Melissa Pearl. But what I do have is a defective, devious brain that can calculate and scheme and come up with an out-of-the-box marketing plan. Yes, I know RJ Crayton recently warned against these kinds of longshots. But really – this one will work – I just know it. Continue reading “My Brilliant Book Marketing Scheme”