Robot Sleep Mask

Robot Sleep MaskAdvertisement

Sure, we all love having robots, but how hard is it to sleep with those glowing red eyes glaring at you from the dark? What if the solution was as simple as slipping our patented Robot Sleep Mask over your robot’s head?

That takes care of the glaring eyes, but you also wonder whether your robot’s wireless interface is being hijacked by your enemies. What if they send your robot instructions to wake you up late and you miss an important meeting? What if they program the robot to strangle you while you sleep?

You can sleep safe and sound, knowing the Robot Sleep Mask is coated with Cybershield, a break-though coating that prevents your robot from receiving malicious outside instructions and spam.

Why go through the hassle of powering down your robot every night when the solution is as easy as just slipping on a one-size-fits-most ROBOT SLEEP MASK? Now available in a wide variety of colors, including Charcoal (shown), Ecrue, Spring Mint, Autumn Russett, Quicksilver, Sunset Peach, Vivid Vermillion, and Brown.

Hobo Valley Resort Writer’s Retreat Package

Hobo Valley writers retreat[Indies Unlimited is brought to you in part by the fine folks at Hobo Valley Properties, formerly Toxic Waste Disposal Enterprises.]

Times are hard and money is tight. That’s no reason to forgo a precious and well-earned vacation in the heartland of America’s beautiful wilderness. Situated ideally between the serenity of an Air Force missile testing range and the aromatic wonders of a local hog rendering plant, Hobo Valley has cabins for rent that meet every price range.

Hobo Valley Resort and Spa is a perfect writer’s getaway. With no phones or cellular signals, and very little gunfire coming from the nearby survivalist camp after 10 PM, you’ll find all the peace and quiet you need to complete your masterpiece. They are even offering a special Writer’s Retreat package especially for Indies Unlimited readers! This includes a deluxe room with its own private outhouse, a hotplate, styrofoam ice chest (ice not included), and a complimentary welcome basket containing box of local wine and an assortment of fruits and goodies from this area. You can’t get a deal like this anywhere else! Call today for prices and availability and get to work on your next blockbuster hit!

Fine print: yes, the apostrophe is before the 's' in Writer's Retreat on purpose since we can only take one writer at a time. Rates are per person, single occupancy. We reserve the right to reject any guest upon arrival. A guest damage deposit is required and will be refunded upon departure if you leave the room in better condition than you found it. There is a broom and vacuum cleaner in the closet, just sayin'. Please do not remove the fly strips in the outhouse even if they hit you in the forehead. Not responsible for bedbugs, fleas, or other infestations guests might experience in the room. Enjoy your stay!

Robot Sleep Mask

Robot Sleep MaskAdvertisement

Sure, we all love having robots, but how hard is it to sleep with those glowing red eyes glaring at you from the dark? What if the solution was as simple as slipping our patented Robot Sleep Mask over your robot’s head?

That takes care of the glaring eyes, but you also wonder whether your robot’s wireless interface is being hijacked by your enemies. What if they send your robot instructions to wake you up late and you miss an important meeting? What if they program the robot to strangle you while you sleep?

You can sleep safe and sound, knowing the Robot Sleep Mask is coated with Cybershield, a break-though coating that prevents your robot from receiving malicious outside instructions and spam.

Why go through the hassle of powering down your robot every night when the solution is as easy as just slipping on a one-size-fits-most ROBOT SLEEP MASK? Now available in a wide variety of colors, including Charcoal (shown), Ecrue, Spring Mint, Autumn Russett, Quicksilver, Sunset Peach, Vivid Vermillion, and Brown.

Golden Skunk Awards

This Book StinksEverybody knows that books with little gold stickers on the cover are favored by book consumers. That’s why they are there, and why awards cost so much.

But, even with the abundance of cheesy little awards nobody ever heard of, it can still be difficult to win.

Breakthrough research we are just about to conduct will show that even though book consumers prefer books with little gold seals on the cover, 90% of those consumers don’t even bother to read the writing on the seal to know what it says. Of the 10% who do read the sticker, 0.0003% know the significance of it. All they know is if it’s got a gold seal on the cover, it has to be good!

Or does it?

Just because a book isn’t good doesn’t mean it can’t be a bestseller. Just look at the bestseller list, for crying out loud. Oh, the humanity! What do those books have that yours don’t? A little gold sticker.

Now your book can have that same cachet and become an overnight success, skyrocketing your sales*. The Golden Skunk Award is not given on the basis of merit, we award them to whoever pays. Sure, you can gamble away hundreds of dollars on a chance at winning a little gold sticker for your book, or you can pay us $100 and get one for sure!

But, don’t take our word for it. Here is a look at the Golden Skunk in action:

Upgrade before and afterBe honest. Which book would you buy? Of course, you’d buy the one with the little gold seal on the cover. That’s what everyone does!

Order yours today!

*Your results may vary.