It’s the Manhattan winter of 1992, less than three months since I’ve left my mate of fourteen years, losing, in one fell swoop, all the solid props of my life.
To stay financially afloat, I take on freelance administrative gigs in arguably the planet’s most frenzied and high-stakes city.
Weeks are busy, but weekends are poisoned with a high-octane cocktail of anxiety, guilt and confusion; I cannot seem to extricate myself from the tangled nest of viperous thoughts that paralyze me into a state of chronic despair. Have I done right in placing personal integrity above the comfort of family and economic security?Continue reading “Quiche, Coffee & The Morning Pages…”
The subject of writing a post (theme, content et cetera) has come up several times of late. When our own EM covered the subject (How to Write a Blog Post) I made the comment: “It doesn’t matter what blog, post/article I have to write I always leave it until the day before it’s due (waiting for inspiration) and then (panic stricken) write about the first thing that comes into my head.” I guess I’m one of the ‘seat of the pants’ kinda guys. The following post is no exception (Oh thrilling…).
I woke up this morning feeling good for some reason. It didn’t last long.
An unhappy child for various reasons, I cut my education short to join the army; not because I was keen to be a soldier, but because it meant getting away from my home environment. That decision led me on a whole other flight plan; after numerous career changes, with a modicum of success in each occupation, I was left feeling unfulfilled and unsatisfied with my life. Writing was something I always did, to keep my head straight, and something to which I was always going to one day focus on totally, when I got everything else out of the way ( Hmmm yes…). Continue reading “Value Fulfilment (or Lack Thereof)”
“Here is a list of terrible things,
The jaws of sharks, a vultures wings,
The rabid bite of the dogs of war,
The voice of one who went before,
But most of all the mirror’s gaze,
Which counts us out our numbered days.”
― Clive Barker, Days of Magic, Nights of War
I did promise a while back that I’d return to the theme of horror fiction, undoubtedly my favourite genre. As a result, this somewhat horror-related post will be lacking the lighthearted humour of my usual fare, so please skip this if you’re not in the mood for heavy and ponderous (you can’t even imagine how much I wanted to add a “LOL” at the end of that sentence). Continue reading “The Mirror’s Gaze”
Recently, I got very down. This happens. I get depressed sometimes when we run out of milk. This time, however, I got depressed because writing began to seem futile.
Let me clarify…writing is like breathing…sharing it seemed futile. But something happened. Something that needs to happen for all of us. A lot of people bitch-slapped me verbally…some threatened actual physical harm.
I got to thinking about all that is involved in being an Indie writer. I won’t lie. Part of me yearns for the days when I had a regular paycheck and good insurance and my friend Pat liked my stories a lot. I hate promoting. But promotion has an interesting fallout effect. It works – we hope, but more importantly, it builds community.