Can We Talk?

I mean really talk, snuggle in a bit closer to the screen because I don’t want everyone to hear this, it’s kinda shameful. I wouldn’t mention it at all but it’s also kinda relevant.

I used to be a ‘perfect proofer’. Typos leapt off the page, grammatical errors made me physically unwell. I’d have to stop reading a book completely if I found more than one mistake, it was just too painful. I ended up proofreading, writing and editing for everyone I knew, it was the only way to survive the agony. I happily made beer money charging a pound a time to write ambulance accident reports for people. My proudest moment was getting Bugsy off a charge of impaling his vehicle on a scaffolding pole, by using big words that the scrambled egg brigade didn’t understand. (He had impaled the ambulance on scaffolding though, I saw him do it.)

Eventually I drifted into copy editing for a living. That was when I decided to have a go at writing, how hard could it be? I was trawling through some terrible stuff and these people called themselves writers.

Guess what? It was easy. I turned my life into a series of humorous articles and people liked them and asked for more. I sent a spot of travelling whimsy to the Rough Guides and they published it! Hey presto, I was a real writer. There were compliments, a reporter friend told me, “Anyone can learn to write but humour takes talent,” and I wore that comment like a medallion. Yeah, some of us have talent. Continue reading “Can We Talk?”

Nicholas Forristal Announces New Release

Chronicles of MAuthor Nicholas Forristal is pleased to announce the release of his new contemporary paranormal fantasy novel: Chronicles of M.

Samuel is a retired agent to the stars. During a bank deposit, a heist goes sideways, resulting in him saving the day. Due to Samuel’s actions, a mysterious man offers him an opportunity – join an ex-governmental agency who’s tasked with handling an unconventional and unpredictable man named “M” as he battles the paranormal. Will he join for the adventure of his life, or will he continue his retirement?

“Altogether the Chronicles of M is a fast paced paranormal/fantasy novel filled with dark humor that captures your attention and does not let go until the last page.” – Full Moon Bites

Chronicles of M is available through Amazon.com and all Amazon channels. 

 

Indie News Beat: Amazon is Redefining Ownership

With a ubiquitous presence, sky-high brand recognition, and customer-first ethos, it’s been a while since “Amazon” only referred to a geographical feature, and the adjective “Amazonian” used to mean a certain type of woman.

If you’re an Independent Author, you’ve either got your stuff on Amazon or you’ve got it nowhere. So when Amazon changes the way it does business, we all need to sit up and take notice. After the hullabaloo with sock-puppet reviews this summer, over the last few weeks a number of authors suddenly noticed reviews going missing from their book pages on Amazon. This led to emails and calls and questions, but one of the first hard-and-fast pieces of evidence to turn up in the media was here, where Amazon sent an email to an author confirming deletion of his reviews of another author’s book because, in Amazon’s opinion, there is “competition” between the two authors, which thus breaches Amazon’s rules. Continue reading “Indie News Beat: Amazon is Redefining Ownership”

Somulax: Double Duty

***Advertisement***

Indies Unlimited is proudly brought to you in part by Pharmatopia Laboratories. Remember, “pharmaceutical” is just another word for “love.”

Pharmatopia Laboratories (formerly CANEX Chemical Weapons), is pleased to announce the FDA has finally approved our new product, Somulax.

In these stressful and trying times, the two most common health complaints are insomnia and constipation. Somulax is the first combination drug formulated to address both problems. By combining a powerful tranquilizing agent with a harsh and fast-acting laxative, Somulax provides safe and effective* rest and bowel evacuation.

Let’s face it, with the job market the way it is today, you don’t need the boss timing your bathroom breaks, and you need good rest to get your job done right. Ask your doctor if Somulax is right for you!

WARNING: We recommend our Oopsie overnight pad be used when taking Somulax. Some users have reported side-effects including sleep-talking, sleep-walking, sleep-dancing, sleep-driving, sleep-fishing, and sleep-murder. If these symptoms appear or persist, contact your physician—we make drugs for that too!

*The government has now defined the criteria for “safe and effective” to be met when two out of three clinical trials result in a death rate lower than 50% in the study population.