Amazon Acquires Indies Unlimited

Evil Mastermind Stephen Hise today admitted he had closed a deal with Amazon for their purchase of the website he founded, Indies Unlimited.

In a rambling, but brief statement made from the seclusion of his skull-shaped island sanctuary, Hise said to the assembled press: “Greg Bozeman and I have always—what? Bezos? That sounds made up. Are you sure that’s right?”

He then opened a tube of cookie dough and wandered away from the podium. Hise’s spokesperson, K.S. “Kat” Brooks, took over the press conference, indicating Indies Unlimited and Amazon had been in secret negotiations for a while. Evidently, the concern for secrecy was so great that neither party to the negotiations was apprised of them.

Ms. Brooks assured the public, “In spite of the new ownership, nothing will change at Indies Unlimited, other than the name of the site, the people operating it, and its content.”

She then fired several bursts from an Uzi, signalling the end of the press event.

Author: Administrators

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26 thoughts on “Amazon Acquires Indies Unlimited”

  1. Come clean, Hise. You’re in the midst of a hostile takeover of Amazon aren’t you? And you’re going to change the name to a different river, aren’t you? Something like Swanee or Mississippi.

  2. K.S. needs to refresh her “Anger Management Class.” She failed to smile as she delivered her eloquent message. In regards to Tim hiding behind his false facade, I fear he has fallen into an abyss of oblivion and grandeur. Nothing like getting Monday off on the wrong foot. Well done!

  3. It only worked for me up to the second paragraph, after that I knew this couldn’t be true. You can’t be both rambling and brief. But hey…you still got me wondering for a minute there; good one!

  4. I look forward to the new Amazon-rebranded website “Dependies Limited” I see a natural marketing tie-in between the creative output of the former Indies writing site and the adult diaper market. Kudos to all!

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