Spunky’s Present to You

Dali and his pet Ocelot.

The first writer’s blog that I read was written by the woman who would end up editing my first novel. In a particularly excellent post, she discussed at length the need to layer your characters – to give them strengths and weaknesses, good and evil motivations, and to otherwise make them as believably flawed as any human you might know. Annoying habits and pet peeves add depth, she postulated, and these idiosyncratic traits will make the character more believable. I’ve kept this post in my head as I develop my characters, and I’ve created a couple of doozies. In true Lois fashion, however, I would like to add a stylish twist to my mentor’s essay – when you want to give your reader a real clue as to what makes your character tick, give the character a pet.

Does the male character have a snake? If he’s selling real estate in Manhattan and is a bachelor, he either is trying too hard to be cool, or is underendowed.  Does the woman have a little doggy she carries about in a designer handbag worth more than your car?  She must be incredibly wealthy and chic, hysterically funny, or she desperately needs a date. Maybe, all three attributes apply.

How about exotic animals? Does the protagonist keep llamas on his sprawling ranch in Montana? That seems manly enough. But put that same llama in a backyard in Jersey City, N.J. and you have a great starting point for eccentricity.  Dress it up, and if PETA doesn’t get involved, you may be nominated for a Pulitzer.

In my first novel, I introduced Wickersham Betancourt III. His manipulative nature is used to highlight similar qualities in his master. After all, chewing a Prada loafer only to drop it on the bed of another dog is a creatively devious way to insure that you alone will accompany the master to Miranda’s house for her 80th birthday party. Wickersham goes where he wants, does what he wants, and eats a box of Belgian chocolate and lives.

Jackson says, "You wish you were me."

I myself am the proud owner of a Maine Coon cat who gives new meaning to neurotic and senile. At 18 years old she has decided to exercise her right, her geriatric whims, to poop, or not, in her litter box. The choice of her daily spot is fodder for family conversation. Who did she wish to disrespect by pooping under the piano? Why me, of course. Who was her intended victim as the latest load was deposited on the multi-colored carpet on the way to the garage? If her daddy is not wary he might be stepping in it.

Why does Spunky express her displeasure in this way? Simply put, she can’t speak. So the fact that she wanted Tuna and Egg instead of Ocean Feast results in a strategically placed poop bomb. She can’t complain about her aches and pains, or lament that her coat is no longer as full as in her youth. When she’s pissed, she flings poo.

What Spunky hasn’t realized is that her antics are a gift to me as a writer. She has no idea that after cleaning up her mess I may jot down some notes to be used later. I will have the last word.

Spunky is annoyed.

Every year at Christmas my favorite thing is to decorate my tree, and it takes many hours of fussing. Vintage family ornaments, blown glass and Swarovski crystal that I’ve collected for decades glitter at night with the twinkling white lights. It’s my nightly spot to have a glass of wine with only the tree lights on, and it is very beautiful. This year the first present under the tree, courtesy of Spunky, was a large poop, extruded perfectly on the tree skirt. Did I take a picture? You bet I did. This insult is something that in future may require photographic evidence. And if you think that diss won’t be in a future novel, think again.

*     *     *     *     *

L. A. Lewandowski is a Contributing Author for Indies Unlimited and author of the novel, Born To Die – The Montauk Murders. For more information, please see the IU Bio Page and her blog:cultureandcuisineclub.com.[subscribe2]

Author: L. A. Lewandowski

Lois Lewandowski graduated from Rutgers University with a degree in Political Science and French Literature. A passion for life lived well is reflected in her novels, Born to Die-The Montauk Murders, A Gourmet Demise, and My Gentleman Vampire, giving readers a glimpse into the world of the beau monde. Lois lives in Tampa, Florida. Learn more at her lifestyle blog, and her Amazon author page.

20 thoughts on “Spunky’s Present to You”

  1. OMG too funny!!! Yes, I have pets- 2 dogs, 2 cats (one of which is a senior) and 3 horses. When I was writing Cowboys and Olympians, the main character rides a stallion. Well, I own a stallion, and let me tell you, they don't act like other horses. Nope, they act more like 4 legged men. It was especially fulfilling to be able to write the character of "Butch" the stallion after having 13 years of stud owning experience. I also own a mare who can be a real witch too- hence the part of "Esmerelda." Yes, animals can make your characters.

    I had to put my long-time friend of 18 years down. He was the best dog I ever had. To show my love for him, I created the character of "Lucky" (His real name was Mozart), and had one of my hard-nosed characters rescue him from a downed passenger plane. He will live on in print forever, and always in my heart.

    Now I laugh as I sit in my office and watch the cat watch the fish tank and the bass in the tank watching the cat.

    God bless all our pets!

    Cheers,

    Kathy

    1. … 4 legged men? I hope you used that description for Butch.

      I told Spunky that she is on the internet, but she is unimpressed. She just wanted some roasted chicken I was eating.

      Thanks for your comments about how you used pets.

      1. Actually I didn't use that description. But it was the only PG thing I could think of to use here. Stallions are like men, they, uh, well, you know, do what guys do. No, they don't have hands, but they are creative. Nuf said on that one!

        Missy, my senior of the house is at my chair demanding a petting. Must not keep the matriarch waiting- she's 84 in human years.

  2. Love this! Thanks, Lois! Funny, I have all kinds of stories about various cats, dogs, turtles, fish, iguanas, and even a hamster I took home on a Greyhound bus in a coffee can, but except for one adopted dog and one rarely mentioned cat, I haven't put them in my fiction. I'm missing so much!

  3. Some of my characters not only have pets, one major character in each books has the ability to 'mind-speak' with them. One is a vain and grumpy horse who is the cause of some of the humorous moments in the story.

  4. Yes, I like this. Must remember it. I'm wracking my brains to think of popular novels in which the writer uses the pet device and I'm coming up with nothing, which surprises me. Oh, yeah, Pet Sematary, but I don't think that's the kind of thing you had in mind, Lois. 😉

    1. Oh no, nothing scary for me.

      I can't think of a novel I've read recently that uses the pet device. Sounds like something the British would do, so I'm sure you'll come up with one. 🙂

  5. Nice to know. I have pets in my narrative simply because it was a part of our lives and my love for them. It was inevitable – but, it is good to know it makes for interesting reading.

    1. Thanks, Shoba.

      Pets are such an important part of our lives, so our choice and what we're willing to put up with says a lot about our patience. And we often love them as much as we love humans we know!

  6. What an entertaining post and yes, I introduced a pet in my latest novel to give dimension to my main character. I shall, having read this article, set about making him more alluring. Your animal characters are superb!

Comments are closed.